Melbourne's meltdown: From cultural capital to woke wasteland

Once the world’s most liveable city, now a dystopian playground for bike lanes, lockdowns, and latte socialism. Is your city next?

If Melbourne were a person, it’d be a 35 year old non-binary arts student, still living at home, sipping a soy milk latte while lecturing you about “privilege”.

This was once Australia’s cultural crown jewel. A beacon of art, sport, and sophistication. Now? It’s a case study in what happens when a government - egged on by socialist ideologues and Twitter academics - gets its hands on the steering wheel and decides the brakes are optional.

Under Dan Andrews (or as the locals came to know him, Chairman Dan), Melbourne became the global poster child for lockdown lunacy. For a while there, we were neck and neck with Pyongyang in North Korea in the “enthusiasm for authoritarianism” stakes.

Small businesses? Crushed.

The CBD? A ghost town.

Basic freedoms? Rebranded as “privileges” and handed out like dog treats, QR code first, human rights second.

But never fear, the Labor brain trust had a vision, one that involved more bike lanes, heroin shooting galleries disguised as “safe injecting rooms,” and infrastructure blowouts so enormous they make the NBN look like a dollar store bargain.

Let’s run through the scoreboard, shall we?

• Crime? Up.

• Public transport? Late.

• Cost of living? Through the roof.

• Unions? Running the show.

But chin up comrade, there’s a rainbow pedestrian crossing on every second corner to remind you that progress is being made! Just don’t ask where your tax dollars went. That’s hate speech now.

Here’s the real worry! Melbourne’s rot and mental illness won’t stay in Melbourne. Wokeness like any virus spreads fast, especially when it’s subsidised by taxpayer-funded arts grants and bureaucratic busybodies with degrees in gender studies and no concept of economics or the real world.

Melbourne is the canary in the coal mine.

Except this canary is broke, woke, and still convinced it’s morally superior to you.

While Labor pats itself on the back for its “world-leading” policies - translation: bureaucratic overreach and fiscal arson - the rest of us are left with, soaring debt and an education system that teaches kids how racist they are, but not how to read and write.

And a Premier who treats scrutiny like it’s a hate crime.

Melbourne didn’t fall overnight. It was a slow, smug, ideologically driven decline. Death by a thousand woke paper cuts. And now the so-called “world’s most liveable city” has become a warning label for the rest of the nation.

Vote left long enough, and you’ll get the utopia you deserve: graffiti, gridlock, broken windows, and a $200 fine for watering your own lawn.

Melbourne isn’t just a city anymore, it’s a cautionary tale.

Wokeness is cancer.

Senator Babet.

United Australia Party.